The Art of Self-Improvement

Tomorrow, your skin will be a little clearer and your thighs a little slimmer.  You will speak up but not put your foot in your mouth. Your vocabulary will be more extensive, and you will begin learning a new language. You will have more money in the bank and do more volunteer work and be genuinely humble about everything. You will call your mother and start those brain games and donate your old clothes and clean the kitchen. You will commit to memory all of your friends and family members’ birthdays. You will take vitamins that will provide you thicker hair and fewer aches and pains. You will speak confidently and feel comfortable. Your eyes will tell people who you are. You will put yourself first, but you will also consider others’ needs. You will not people please, but you will practice generosity at every turn. You will be understanding, empathetic. You will know it’s not always about you. You will accept criticism without allowing it to injure or slow your pace. You will get eight hours of sleep and drink eight glasses of water and eat six tiny meals to keep your metabolism high. You will quit drinking alcohol, quit consuming caffeine and sugar and gluten and dairy and processed foods. You will go raw. You will pay your debts. You will stretch. You will laugh. You will work hard and play hard. You will have time and get everything done. All it takes is focus. All it takes is will. A mantra. A day, or maybe more like a week, or a month, or a year—maybe five or ten. Maybe a life. Maybe you should get started. The first step is simple. Are you sure you’re ready? The first step is available for a small fee. Choose overnight shipping. It’s all a matter of choice. Just click the buy link for the full text and accompanying diet plan here.


Jen Knox is the Writers-in-Communities Program Director at Gemini Ink, a literary outreach center in San Antonio. She is particularly interested in the ways creativity and technology converge and is currently exploring this in her writing. Jen is the author of a short story collection, After the Gazebo (Rain Mountain Press, 2015), and her work has been published in The Saturday Evening Post, Room Magazine, and The Istanbul Review, among others. Find Knox here:

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