Vertical Leapland

In the last two weeks at Vertical Leapland, fifteen kids have broken a leg. Taylor’s boyfriend, Alejandro, shows her the security footage in the back office after work. read more >>

Dear Siri, OMG I’m So Confused, Please Fix Apple Music

I signed up for the three months free student special on Apple Music, and it blows because you
actually have to know music, I mean it’s not like Spotify, no, Spotify’s all symbols, just choose
your mood, or Pandora, which is all thumbs up or thumbs down, where some algorithm creates
the station for you, Apple’s all words, just some uberorganized open library, and fuck an open
library, I don’t know anything about music, I need Siri to suggest shit to me, based on what I
already like read more >>

Exploding Pyrex

Dear Readers: Today I’m compelled to depart from Roger the Retro Chef’s usual Wednesday feature, “A Wok on the Wild Side,” to issue a shattering warning! Put DOWN your Velveeta on toast points and remove the Maraschino cherries from the Manhattan in your amber rock tumbler lest you choke when I tell you that the Pyrex pan in which you plan to cook the Sour Cream Tuna Noodle Bake from Sunday’s “Comfort Cuisine” column might explode in your oven… read more >>

Museum of Writing Machines

For a while I experimented with various modes of communication: letters cut from magazines and newspapers and glued to stationary, stationary I sent to our local newspaper. My early literary efforts met with lavish praise and one rather embarrassing visit from the police… read more >>

The Revisionist

The first thing he says when he gets up in the morning is, “I revived you.” As if he is talking to someone pulled from a lake minutes before. But what he means is: He has revised me. Top to bottom. Beginning to end. Past to present. Turned me inside and out so many times I barely resemble my former self… read more >>